Alone

One of the hardest feelings to deal with after a loss is how lonely it is.

My husband and I are dealing with the exact same loss, but its completely different. No two people grieve the same. We don't have the same feelings about how to "move on" (I use that term lightly since neither him nor I will ever "move on" - Kennedy will forever be with us). I understand now how hard it can be on a couple if you don't have the strength left to fight (which thankfully, I do).

It's also lonely because no matter how much support you have, no one can fix it. And some result of that is that it makes me want to be alone. It leaves me alone with my thoughts - which is terribly hard, but at the same time it's something I find solace in. Being alone helps me reflect.

I think also lately I like to be alone because no matter where I am or who I'm with, I feel so alone, so lonely. Grieving a child is a very isolating event (even if most of the time it's due to self-isolation).